Have you heard of the word ‘Complaining’ or any form of it in the 8 parts of speech or through it’s synonyms like Whining, Cribbing, crying, attention-seeking etc and etc…(well, I know I am exaggerating it ) ?

It’s definitely a behavior exhibited by every one of us at some stage in life. But, my question is why few people think they do not do that, okie, I won’t trudge upon the reasons for that, since it’s not my aim.  Isn’t it right to let go off the steam with a bunch of people whom you trust as confidantes’. I ain’t have any sort of clue, as to why I am feeling lonely, as to why I think that I am lonely, whether it’s right to crib or complain about few things to people or not?

This post is an analysis of the thoughts that flashed across my mind, as I was thinking about the same.  Technically there are many disadvantages compared to the advantages that come with such a practice. Let me enlighten you now

Disclaimer: Views are expressed by a sane state of mind that I possess, and if you have anything to add please go ahead. If you disagree, let me know, I can give you a piece of my mind over a cup of coffee(the bill is on you!).

I will go according to the rubric of explaining the symptoms, verbal/non-verbal cues you need to pick that your listener is not taking your cribbing seriously….Hope to clear some myths in this regard to avoid valuable frustration and irritation going away in unwanted directions.

Situation: You are in need of a company to share what is pestering your mind, you want to open up and talk about few things and need a like mind or a better state of minded person – who has time, values, and heart to listen to you.

Firstly, you see the ignorant by-standers. They stick to their definition. There is a high probability that – they won’t understand your problem, rather they are least interested in your problems. Symptoms with these people are, they either sit for the sake of sitting, or listen for the sake of listening. They will be most inactive, disinterested, and on top of all – you need to tell them from scratch every instance you meet them, as to what are you talking about, and what is that something that is bothering you.  Verbal cues include, ‘I am sorry, I didn’t get you?’, ‘Wait a sec, what are you talking about?’ and many other ‘?’s like that.  Non-verbal cues include – ‘talking over a phone’, ‘talking about a dinner menu when you are done with your lunch at that moment’ often accompanied by a ‘puzzled’ look. Few exceptions in this category of people are the ‘triers’. They do try hard to listen, but maybe your story is not interesting or important to them at that moment. Respect their time and stay away – Purpose would not be solved with these category of people.  Probably, you need to be a good presenter and make them feel that you are a great story-teller. Fortunately, the bulk of the % of us are in this category.

Secondly, the ‘Gyaan – gurus’ they give their 2 cents, which most of the times is uncalled for. Especially, when you are messed up with something and feel like venting out your anger in the right channel – that is to hit the person who hit you…they change your goals and often end up being the brunt of the anger or be the cause of a new frustration.  Ironically, for these gurus, it is a pretty easy thing when they are listening, as they are used to giving gyaan or Knowledge through out their life. They tend to find some word/cue or some action and based on that cook up some nice assumptions and make a wonderful enlightening story. Most of the times, uncalled for and often, the knowledge of the entire world they have seen limited to the block they live and the city they have grown up. Verbal cues here would be, ‘Why don’t you do this?’ or ‘that?’ and ‘You are an idiot to accept it!’ you know better in each and every rhetorical communication accompanied by interjections and exclamations with judgements adding up to the spice factor. Probably, again only probably, you need to distance yourself at least 2 miles away from these individuals, especially when you want some peace of mind and somebody to just only to listen you.  Because, these set of individuals don’t know when to stop.  Worst of all, they give their perspective on your problem, and try to find a solution within their limitations of anything and everything. Good thing about these individuals is, when they face such a situation, fortunately they come back to you for cribbing – just give it back! That is more satisfying isn’t it?

Thirdly the case of emotion-less homo sapiens, you know that they don’t give a damn to you, still you try to do that. Fortunately, for these set of individuals, there is no word called as an emotion in their dictionary. They are either hardened by it, or, they are born with a deficiency of the Vitamin Emotion. They are the most cynical I’ve seen, coz you cannot share your happiness or sadness or any other emotion with them, it is like jumping into a Black hole, it sucks and only sucks. Verbal cues include – ‘Smileys’ or ‘Smiles’ for even disgusting words being heaped on them. This is precisely the last thing you would love to do, especially when you are not feeling good. You came finding a similar mind, or perhaps, searching for somebody to strike a chord with ya. God save you from these gentlemen. Non-verbal cues include, but not limited to – ‘Shirking away’, ‘No sign of feeling even when questioned as to why you are not listening?’(they differ from the first category in this aspect). Possibly, you need to avoid staying with these sect of people. They don’t want to mingle with this world, and also the world can’t obviously mingle with them. If you try to be the Shepherd for them, it’s your wish and will and above all, your stupidity too! Period.

Fourthly, the sadistic pleasure seekers who indulge into the worst parasitic behavior known to the humans. Gossiping at the cost of other’s pain(friendly one is always good for health!). They listen to you peacefully, and as if they are really a wonderful wonderful listeners, they would be dormant(this is one of the non-verbal cue) and try to give you perspective that life is so well with these kind of people. Later, they just blabber about whatever you say and whatever you vent and worst of all, add few figments of their imagination. Voila! a perfect recipe for them to feast upon, and then they know where exactly to hit you – right under the belly! Stay away from these, they are a disgust to the common noun called ‘friend’ and a blot on the biological Phylum of Chordata…they don’t have a back bone to stand and talk in front of you .  Cues, include but not limited to  - showing you that they are the best mates for you for life, and etc, etc.

Lastly, the losers who attribute everything said to them as against them – and make your life crazier. Avoid them at any cost. They are not fit for talking. Especially since they lack the Vitamin I(I stands for Intelligence). With them, its a pain communicating. Unless and until they are pure at heart, do not talk to these people. They are not worthy enuff! Their statements over IMs carry lot of smileys(needless to mention always the crying or the sad smileys) and exclamations. Often they misinterpret simple facts. They are always in a confused state to be more precise. In this manner, if you try to possibly talk about yourself to them, they put their complexes and never-growing-mind on top of it and start making assumptions that their brain could possibly comprehend and in turn – make you bang your head on the wall, for all the good reasons. It’s the safest way to suicide in case you have little patience like me by talking to them about your problems.  Stay away is the final word!

Now, lets not be cynical about people like these, there are many who are really caring and sometimes do not find time to listen to you or bother you. After all, we don’t have only one variety of people.  Often, many die and many are born and as long as you are optimistic – there exists a path for you to vent out and cry your heart out for as to why something didn’t go your way. I am not advocating you to cry, but instead of keeping it to yourself, its better to flush that out ASAP! But, find the right category of people. Now, Let me give some ‘gyaan’ on the people whom you should share your thoughts or probably vent out everything.

The friend with a good sense of humor, heshe often wards off the pain and frustration inside you with a good smile. Infact, he/she will be the last person you would be finding from a bunch of people whom you see in the case of crisis, that’s ironical though.  They are the least bothered by cynics and are having a good attitude towards life, and yeah, they do have an understanding as well. Above all, they have time for each and every soul on this face of earth – to listen to them patiently and possess the wisdom to rightly start talking when you expect them to and to shut their mouth when you expect them to be – utopian ain’t it? It’s perfectly possible scenario, especially if you are having a good judgement in picking your friends or for that matter, your inner-circle. Verbal cues are very minimal with them, they are often connected emotionally over wi-fi. They do care about you all the while and their demeanor reflects that all the times. Non-verbal cues include a hug, a pat on the back, a kiss, or any form of pleasantries. They tend to cheer you up, rather than make you feel, as to why you have opened up to this person.  You get the point, right?

Then comes the topic of this blog or rant, the 3rd world. Advantages of this complaining or whining behavior - well one of the biggest advantages is, you will(should) be at peace once you are done complaining. But, if the above mentioned disadvantages(or the people who cause them) creep in, coz of your negligence in not identifying the right person from the cues, the purpose of complaining is defeated – hence, don’t do that. Follow the 2.0 world. Where everything which is remotely related to the field of Computers and Technology a fancy way of telling it as the modern or the electronic way. Trust me, its the cheapest of resources and doesn’t cost anything more than an internet connection and a laptop and a mug of coffee. Above all, it also helps you to connect and find a perspective which might not be in your scheme of things but definitely a scheme which you might wanna try.

The title ‘Complaining 2.0‘ hence, is self-explanatory. You probably may need to find a blog, a letter or a diary or something and vent it out. As I did it now, many have utilized this option, and quite a few excel at it. It’s a journey towards realizing that excellence at least in this aspect of venting out anger/frustration that piles up by the bunch of lesser mortals – who don’t know how to carry themselves. Isn’t this fair method?(Use comments space for replying to this question)

This solves the main purpose of cribbing, you get a chance to vent it out. Secondly, it also makes sure that your vent is taken care by the infinite blogger’s world, and somebody in some corner of this planet – think for a second and either bother to coalesce with your mind and give up some much needed pep and a space in their mind, or ignore it. You still stand a chance, as many third category of readers – who just bother to read and leave the space without any mark on it…I have no clue as to why they do that, but they definitely do not defeat the purpose. They do think about you, but don’t feel like writing (read as don’t have ‘interest’) that’s all.

Hence, let me know if you feel like doing this exercise…or you feel that you have already done this….or probably consider me a nut-case….either way I don’t give a damn and you can do whatever you want(wanted to end on an offensive note…to satisfy the whole ordeal of ‘Complaining’). You can do one thing though, probably use the space below to whine about this post and probably come up with a new category of people – who knows, you might have an interesting case.

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